Saturday, 20th April 2019


Funny and Embarrassing CV Mistakes

Make sure that after you choose a job and apply to work for the company that you do not make these same mistakes!

Taken from real CVs and cover letters

  • "I have lurnt Word Perfect 6.0 computor and spreasheet progroms."
  • "Received a plague for Salesperson of the Year."
  • "Wholly responsible for two (2) failed financial institutions."
  • "Reason for leaving last job: maturity leave."
  • "It's best for employers that I not work with people."
  • "Let's meet , so you can 'ooh' and 'aah' over my experience."
  • "You will want me to be Head Honcho in no time."
  • "Marital status: single. Unmarried. Unengaged. Uninvolved. No commitments."
  • "I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse."
  • "I have become completely paranoid, trusting completely no one and absolutely nothing."
  • "My goal is to be a meterologist. But since I possess no training in meteorology, I suppose I should try stock brokerage."
  • "I procrastinate, especially when the task is unpleasant."
  • "Personal interests: donating blood. Fourteen gallons so far."
  • "Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain store."
  • "Note: Please don't misconstrue my 14 jobs as 'job-hopping'. I have never quit a job."
  • "Reason for leaving last job: They insisted that all employees get to work by 8:45 am every morning. I couldn't work under those conditions."
  • "The company made me a scapegoat, just like my three previous employers."
  • "References: none. I've left a path of destruction behind me."


Facts and Figures

  • Your CV has less than 30 seconds to impress any potential employer
  • On average, 100-159 people apply for every advertised vacancy in the UK
  • 6 out of 10 people don't know how to write a CV
  • Over 70% of CVs are missing vital information and, as a result are discarded by an employer.
  • In 2001, MORI conducted research that 33% of applicants have admitted to lying on their CV or job application. This figure has now risen to 8 out of 10 applicants.
  • The Personal Statement is the most important part of your C.V, it will either entice or put of an employer.
  • 20% of the 1,000 workers surveyed by the BBC said they had exaggerated CV details in order to "stand out" from other applicants.

For more information on how to avoid these mistakes please see the CV Zone!